Sleep Deprivations 3 – A Great Deal

Today only!*
40% on Alcoholism**

And bulk discount on all products highly correlated with various types of cancer!***

*(And every other day it becomes profitable.) **(We remind our consumers, that it is their own responsibility to consume safely. “Guns don’t kill people.”, remember? Just because addiction is statistically profitable to us and the government, this does not make us responsible for your self medication.) ***(We remind our consumers, that statistical correlation of our products with fatal diseases COULD be coincidental and you have no way of proving our product in particular was the cause or even a main factor with undeniable certainty. Please stop suing us with reasons like “We all know you actively kill your consumers. You know it, the jury knows it, everyone knows it.” Plausible deniability  and our vastly superior legal manpower make your efforts futile. See “**” for further information on the topic.)

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